worste vacation vere

In the spring of 2010 me and a few of my best friends went on a trip to FL, what started out as one last time to hang out before we all went off to college. Quickly tuck a turn for the worst when Baily started her monthly.  The trip was no longer about all of us it was about how she was so left out. Whether, we didn’t ask her every time we did something or if we were not doing everything for her like her mom.  It started when she did not help unload the luggage or the food that we got. The whole trip Baily stayed on the phone every day all day and night. She said it was her mom but the voice sounded like her boyfriend. The second day we all planed on going to the beach and out to eat that night. Me and my friend Kassie asked her if she wanted to go and she said "no,” so we all headed down to the beach and started tanning a half hour into tanning Baily came down and started modeling out fits asking us if we liked what she had on. We would all said “yes” and start tanning again someone would look up and ask where she had gone. No one would know and so a few would go walking on the beach and a few would stay tanning. When the first group had returned, she was back in a new outfit asking if we thought she should where that out to eat. We would tell whatever she wear would be fine. The next group then left to go for a walk and a few went to take showers to get ready to go out. While everyone was getting ready she was nowhere to be found. Latter we found her she was on the deck of the condo talking on the phone for the 13^th time that day talking to her boyfriend. When we finally left to go out to eat at a place near the peer she called one of our friends dumb because we were all joking around about what we each where eating. So once we left the restaurant we headed for the peer and went out to the end of it to look at it I have a huge fear of heights. We go to the end of it and are watching the waves and stuff and we turn to our left, and she is  sitting on the ground holding her stomach so we ask her if she was ok and she starts making a big deal and ask if we can help her go sit on a bench so we did. Me and a few of us were talking. I turn around and I see my boyfriend running with Baily on his back and this girl is not small by any means. So I was ok with it and I didn’t say anything. Well when me and the others make it to the end of the peer she starts complaining about wanting to go back to the condo so we all said sure no problem. Well come to find out her phone had died and the real reason she wanted to go back to the condo was to charge her phone and call her boyfriend. So that night we all but her decided to stay up and go for a walk on the beach. The next day we told her we were heading to the beach and hung out for a while, went in the water, went for walks looking for shells and stuff. About noon I headed back to the room to see how Kassie’s mom was doing when I realized she was doing our laundry I made her take a break and let me do it. As I was loading the next load I noticed none of it was any of ours but it all belonged to Baily. I then learned that she would change every five minutes and instead of putting her clothes up she would trough them on the floor. When I went back to the beach I asked my friend Roxie to take a walk with me she said ok and we went for a walk I told her what Baily had been doing. We both taught this was very wrong so we told Kassie and then talked to Kassie’s mom. That night Kassie’s mom had use all gather in the living room and have what she called “a come to Jesus meeting.” This I where we can talk to every one about how we feel and what we think about the way some one is acting without any one being able to get mad. So like always Baily tock it as a chance to make herself seem like she was a victim. She claimed no one was hanging out with her, we never asked her to do anything, and we constantly left her on purpose to go for walks. This made all of very mad. I then told her we just got up and went for walks if people came they came if they didn’t it was up to them. I then told her I was brought up not to ruin other peoples fun, and the reason we were not asking her to do anything was after a day or two of her making up reasons made us no longer want to ask her. This somewhat made thing better but it did not fix everything. After that trip I have not talked to baily since but I am ok with that because I do not wish to surround myself with people that don’t care at all about others. 

Most people have two selves them at home or when no one is around and the person they are in public. I’m not unlike them but, the me at home, around my family is very different from the me when I’m in school, and when I’m around my friends. With my friends I am freer with personal information like my sexuality, personal opinion, religion views, and personal preferences. When I am in school I am more of a model student I do my work, listen in class, and treat my professor and class mates with respect. When I’m at home I am more closed with the things I have to say, and my opinion. The things that change how people act is the expectations people have for them and their constant urge or at least my urge to please others. With my family they are religious and have high values for me to succeed in school and anything I do so that also explains why I work so hard in school. With my friends I choose them and there for I feel more comfortable with them. Also, my friends chose me so there for they do not always have to agree or like the way I feel about things. This makes it more confortable to be more free and expressive with myself. Over the past few years my guardian has become more understanding of my self-expression. From the way I do my hair, the clothes I wear, to the way I make my body more unique like tattoos and my piercings. An example of a similar split of one’s personality is one of my past friends when in public they were very expressive in their personality but when they were in school they kept to them self and did not venture toward other groups they staid very close to their close friends.   

     Being bi is not easy when u live with a parent or gardenia that is not open minded. Thankfully i have friends that are very understanding. My boyfriend of four years understands even though i like to keep my relationship with him and any females very much separate but i do let him know when i am dating a girl and who she is. My best friend helps me when i am having problems dealing with ether of my relationships. But it is hard when i   can’t talk to the person who has been like a mother to me for so long. When someone once brought up the topic to her she didn't believe them and told me if it was true i was in the wrong. That is why i am very worried about who it is OK to teal this to and so it is wonderful to be able to finally get this off my chest. I have friends that know and some have been judgmental and don't like to be alone around me and their r others that don't care and think it is cool how i am so open about my sexuality after i know some one for a little while and tell them. I have had a few small relationships but recently i broke up with a girl i had been dating off and on for almost a year. most people also think that when i say I’m in a relationship it is just what they call a fling and that it is not an actual meaningful relationship but i have had that with many people at the same time and it is just like comparing a relationship with one friend compared to another it is different but it doesn’t mean you care about one more than the other. you just love them different and that is what it is like for me being bi i dont like men the same as i like women i just fill an attraction to them and i like them to appear compleatly different.  i like my men to be big and strong and protective and i like females that are intelligent and petite that i can care for. i constantly  deal with issues on knowing how to deal with my sexuality and the relationship problems that come with being bi. like most things when u have support from those that love u. 

       as i woke up this morning i wondered what is the point of my life. i have hopes and dreams but why am i here. i am just a college student i have never done anything important i have never saved a persons life. but i still live and i still wake up every morning and it feels like i just go through the motions of a life. i  hope one day to be a life and not just a body. i plan for me to be a nurse so that i am oneday  a person and not just a body. life to me is making a diference and have some form of an impact on some one one day. life is just a jurney and i have not gone far at all.